I continue to be amazed each day by our little ones and can’t believe they’re 6 months old! Man, what a 6 months it’s been!
The cuteness just kills me sometimes!
Of course, every time I look at either of them I’m so thankful for how far they’ve come and know that they are little preemie miracles. They’re 10 lbs. 5 oz. and 11 lbs. 15 oz these days, give or take (depends on how full that last diaper was). To me, that seems GIANT. You have to remember, when they arrived they were just over and just under 3 lbs. Of course, then I see them next to “normal” babies who are the same age and I’m reminded that they are indeed, not giant, not giant at all, and that’s when I have to remember their “adjusted age.”
Before I got pregnant, I’d never heard the term “adjusted age.” When I found out we were having twins, I prepared myself for early delivery, just in case, and that’s when I started learning about “adjusted age” (I think I’ll stop with the quotes now…you get it, right?!). Basically, the adjusted age of a baby is the difference between when they were born and their due date, and adjusted age is not calculated if the mom carries to 37 weeks or more (between 37 and 40 weeks is considered full term). For example, our babies were born December 9th and my due date was February 9th (it was really the 8th, but we’ll use the 9th for simplicity’s sake). They were 9 weeks early, so when we talk about their adjusted age, we take their real age and subtract 9 weeks. Currently:
26 weeks – 9 weeks = 17 weeks (4 1/4 months)
I have to remind myself almost daily that when I compare my kiddos to other kids (which is inevitable, no matter how much I try to avoid the comparison game), that I need to be comparing them to kids who are 4 1/4 months old, not 6 months old. I wish I could avoid comparisons all together, but that would mean never leaving the house, since babies are everywhere. But, even that comparison is not fair at all times due to what one doc called “genetic variants,” meaning, I’m small, my kids have some of my genes, so they’ll be small too. We have friends with babies who are around 4 months old and they are really, really big…and healthy and super cute. Ours are healthy and super cute, I’m OK with two out of three.
The doctors and professionals who assess them for various development milestones will use the adjusted age until they are two years old, and after that they should have mostly caught up. We are constantly explaining what adjusted age means and there are times when I feel like other parents look at us like we’re totally nuts when we tell them our kids are 6 months old. I’d like to stop using the adjusted age, it’s annoying…but as of this point, our kids are reaching milestones using the adjusted age calculation, so I guess we’ll stick with it for now!
And…I’d like to send out one more little shout out to the doctors and nurses who have helped us along in this journey!
Comparisons are normal but get out of that habit now as it will drive you nuts. From now until they graduate from high school (and even beyond) other parents will compare their children with yours and even not so subtly point out how theirs are superior. (They got straight As, are in 5 different activities, are spending the summer helping refugees, have lots of friends, never hold their breath when they are angry, don’t turn over when being diapered, etc.) And unfortunately, our society likes to blame mothers for what is seen by other as a deficiency. My oldest was full-term and small probably due to my having pre-eclampsia (and I and my ex are tall!). I had comments such as “what did you do wrong to get pre-eclampsia,” and “he is so small. I hear that it can affect his intelligence.” (WTF! I’m happy to say he’s a college graduate.) So, if someone comments that your fabulous children are small for their age then tell them that good things come in small packages.Rejoice in your little ones for who they are and will become. It doesn’t matter if they are not like other kids. They are your children and the differences in them are what make them special. So put on those blinders and only have eyes for those two cuties. 🙂
Blinders on!! Thank you Rachel!